fed up with fiancee

  1. Five days ago I had a septoplasty with turbinate reduction and a tonsillectomy. To be frank, I've been feeling like crap. I'm 40 years old and don't heal like I used to.

    My fiancee is really disappointing me when I feel like I need him the most. He keeps making snide comments like, "jeez, it's not cancer" and then getting all butthurt when I tell him that I need him to be gentle and supportive (you know, like one might be with a sick person...) He says that I am "in a bad mood" and am being critical of him. Yesterday I told him to stop mopping the floor where he had spilled with his dinner napkin, and he barked, "suddenly there are all these rules!" He was playing music very loud, which I asked him to turn down, and he said, "you didn't have surgery on your ears."

    I don't know how to get through this. He was great about doing the shopping and cleaning my apartment as a nice surprise. He's not great with actually dealing with me. Today he was bouncing around being hyperactive, and he bumped my nose...I saw stars and was really pissed off.

    I just asked him to leave earlier and not see me for a few days, because I can't deal with this at the moment. I don't understand his failure to act like an adult when he is usually so good at being sensitive and responsible. I'm not sure which possibility is worse, that he's just becoming a jerk over time, or is really bad with sick people. To be fair, he's had the normal amount of work related stress, but I really needed him and he's let me down.

    How should I address this?
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  2. 3 Comments

  3. by   Farawyn
    Oh deers. Sounds like a Man/Boy.

    He's probably scared and doesn't know how to support you, so he is going into jerk mode.
    I don't know if I would deal with a Man/Boy at age 40.

    If he is open to it, when you are better, try to talk to him. if he gets defensive then, I would back off.


    I hope you are feeling better. I need a turbinate reduction as well, and I have a deviated septum. I really like my nose, though, and I don't want anyone to mess with it. I snore like a truck.
  4. by   BCgradnurse
    Some people just don't do well with sick people. He may think that what you had done was minor, but a tonsillectomy in an adult is a big deal. Add that to the other procedures and you're a hurting cowboy. I would have told him to go away, too. I agree with Far-talk to him after you're feeling better and see what transpires out of that conversation.

    I also need a turbinate reduction and possibly a tonsillectomy. I keep putting it off. I'm a big snorer too. DD once threw me out of a hotel room cause I was snoring so loud. Fortunately it was in a B&B and I could sleep in the sitting room. Damn kids.

    Feel better.
  5. by   Farawyn
    I had a breast reduction, but they kinda grew back.

    I hope turbinates don't grow back.

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