Dating a family member's doctor - page 2
by NEXTLOVER 4,786 Views | 21 Comments
Hi guys. Just wondering what the opinions of some members are + need some advice. So here goes: My grandfather has been with his PCP for almost a year now, getting monthly visits. I sometimes go home to take care of him... Read More
- 7Jan 21, '13 by StephalumpWell, I'm not sure where dating comes into picture. From what I've gathered, we know he's interested in your nether regions. I failed to read anything about him taking you out for coffee to get to know you better.
So the question is...should I have sex with my grandfather's doctor?
You only live once
I don't recommend you sleeping with your grandfathers doctor and misconstruing it as dating him, though. That never turns out well.
- 0Jan 21, '13 by NEXTLOVERThanks for the advice, guys. Much appreciated Just to clear up some confusion (outline style):
- He has asked me out twice, both I declined bc of 1st time) I was in said prev. relationship; 2nd time) not being sure of the rules of the whole "dating a fam member's granddaughter." I always laughed it off and he always just never said anything about them.
- I have no idea of the relationship with his new med.assnt. This is the first time I met her, so yes, I was a bit ****** that she basically got in my face about it. I think she was just nervous (I think she was going through the "orientation" phase) and I felt bad for her+ I think she meant well, but she was not aware of how it came out. But yes, itis very unprofessional but what can I do? I can't stop them talking
- To lessen the creepy factor somewhat *laughs*:The Jan. incident happened after everything was discussed/taken care of. Mygrandfather is 93yo. end-stg. dementia, on a G/J tube with privileges to the wheelchair. After we got him into the wheelchair, the MA wheeled him into the dining room so doc & I were alone in his room. So... yeah. Guess that IS kinda creepy w/o the bg. Sorry.
- I'm single (living with an ex though) and according to him: He's divorced (any wonder for PCP lol?) with a son. Not sure about his situation now; it's not like we talk all the time (family is in NY); I'm finishing up an RN-BSN program in Los Angeles).
- The Jan. incident really, REALLY threw me off, I'll be honest, so that's why I... came on here for advice LOL. Family members have noticed this "attraction" and always teased me about it, but I haven't told them about this latest incident (just you special people!).
So now I'm just at a loss on how to handle the situation since it was just harmless flirting before. In fact, I’m not really sure if he was joking himself when he said that. I guess I'm just... preparing myself for when I have to face him again in Feb & March. My plan was to just not bring it up & let him do that instead. Sleeping with him? – Okay! But beyond that is… not possible.
[End scene of the “highschool” drama]
But seriously, thanks guys. I just needed to vent. I’ve been brooding about this for some time now.Last edit by NEXTLOVER on Jan 21, '13 : Reason: HTML bork
- 0Jan 22, '13 by Beautiful Mind RNIn all seriousness, I think first of all, if the medical assistant approaches you in what you feel is an inappropriate manner again, you need to let her know upfront and/or let the doctor know, since she works under him. As for how far you want to go with him, if it is your wish just to keep things light hearted and take it as far as only physical and you think it might not mess anything up and/or make them awkward. Go for it. If not, then I think you need to tell him straightforward to keep things professional.
- 1Jan 22, '13 by jadelpn GuideAh, things that seem so passionate at first. It is a lesson in impuse control. You have sex with MD. Then crickets. No one has any intentions of dating, until you are in the afterglow of sex, and it rapidly dawns on you that it was--as intended--a one night stand. Or he gets all interested and mooning over you and you are just not that into it. That is awkward at its finest. (or you find that you have to draw him a map, which is highly disappointing). It rarely is as good as it seems. You are "living with your ex". He has a son, an ex-wife, and a territorial medical assistant. (and to think you may have to sit through a "it's not you, it's me" scenario--no thank you)
Listen, just that you are so uncomfortable with this situation is enough to take pause. That one could assume that his MA has a major crush (or is perhaps "involved" with him) herself, which again draws the line at a professional relationship to one that is drama and gossip. And ya know, multiple partners and friends with bene's---let's leave that to the young--and I have no idea how old you all are, but again creepy with the bed references (Uhm, do you say that to all your patients' grandaughters?????)
If you want to take this to an alternate level (and I am not saying that is the best idea, but you are a grown up) I would say "lets go grab some dinner tonight while I am in town". If not, I would simply say that as flattered as you are, you are just not in a place where you can do this right now. But if that changes he will be the first to know.
When our own home situations are not ideal, we tend to feel a million times better about ourselves when a man shows interest. That a man thinks we are hot. Then the obsessive thoughts creep in. This is not thinking that should hold merit when we are at the most vulnerable.
And in this day and age, in all honesty, give him your phone number if you want to feel him out for a bit. Friend him on facebook. Exchange email addresses. Then you can have private interaction with him without the peanut gallery.
I wouldn't get all worked up about a relationship and how that pertains to him being your grandfather's doctor until it gets to a place where it becomes a relationship--which by your posts doesn't seem like you are that into it.
But I am old and jaded....LOL...and have a few grown daughters. So my creep meter is on high alert.