Dating advice should I even bother with dating?

  1. I just got certified as a CNA. I am going for nursing, still in pre-nursing while I am eligble to apply to my schools associate in nursing I am going to wait one more semester to take some courses so I can apply to at least half a dozen schools.

    Right now its all about me, and I don't want anything to interfer with my goals. Every relationship I have been in since my engagement fell apart a year and a half ago I have prefaced with, I am going for nursing I don't have a lot of time on my hands.

    I know its a bad way to start. I am 27, and I live at home again, because its the only way I can afford the cost of school while I am in school, and actually get decent marks. So I am not exactly a catch.

    I suffer from depression which lead to two hospitilizations over two years ago. I am stable now, since my 3rd psych finally just put me on anti depressants instead of trying numerous anti psychotics over, and over again to no avail.

    My mental health has been in order, and stable for about two years every day I feel a little more normal, a little more optimistic, and any abnormal paranoid thoughts are long gone.

    Also my physical health is finally in order after a year, a lung abscess, and developing crohns disease. I am flat broke, and every dime I have goes to school because someday I want a stable job where I can send kids to college I can't exactly do that on my own.

    The plus to me is if I find some one when I really have nothing, I know she is a keeper most likely.

    The con of course is that I will be 29/30 by the time I am financially stable enough and out of school to start a family. So basically any woman I met would have to wait on me, not a great way to find a gal.

    Another con is what if they start demanding my time, its not unreasonable in a relationship, but if I can't finish school within, or close to my time line I am A # 1 screwed. I don't know should I even bother at this point, or wait until I am more financially secure?
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  2. 12 Comments

  3. by   Farawyn
    You have a lot on your plate. If it stresses you out to "find" someone, then, no, put it on hold for a bit.

    If it may relax you, then, why not?

    What do you like to do socially, Gavin?
    Last edit by Farawyn on Jan 31, '16 : Reason: Plate not Late
  4. by   honeyforasalteyfish
    Quote from Farawyn

    What do you like to do socially, Gavin?
    Lol it used to be well drink talk about sports. Now I have no interest in sports. All I talk about is science, and nursing. How badly I want it, my education, what I have learned today etc.

    I suppose its not healthy, and I was told men have a habit of dealing with depression by trying to work. So I suppose that is how I am dealing with it, honestly I don't go out much.

    What stresses me out is my situation, and how I desperately want out of it.

    Social life ahh I remember that. I used to have a roaring social life, now not so much.

    A nice craft beer relaxs me, not to much, but a beer with a meal. Talking about stuff, I like to talk, mostly about science, sometimes still hockey, philosophy, and politics.

    I fear I am a bore.
  5. by   Farawyn
    No, all those topics are interesting. I am a huge hockey fan. The Islanders. I was a kid when they went on their 4 Cup in a row win in the 80s. I had a Bryan Trottier jersey, #19. We went to a Caps/Flyers game the other night on the school trip. I hate both teams, but had to root for the Flyers as the Isles and Caps are in a close race right now. I like all sports.

    My friends and I also tend to discuss music and stuff like Game of Thrones.

    This is no help to you whatsoever, as I am in my 40s. And Married.

    What about exercise? Running?
  6. by   honeyforasalteyfish
    Quote from Farawyn
    No, all those topics are interesting. I am a huge hockey fan. The Islanders. I was a kid when they went on their 4 Cup in a row win in the 80s. I had a Bryan Trottier jersey, #19. We went to a Caps/Flyers game the other night on the school trip. I hate both teams, but had to root for the Flyers as the Isles and Caps are in a close race right now. I like all sports.

    My friends and I also tend to discuss music and stuff like Game of Thrones.

    This is no help to you whatsoever, as I am in my 40s. And Married.

    What about exercise? Running?
    GO BLACK HAWKS! Sorry I am huge black hawks fan. The whole city is nuts about them, they just keep winning.

    I don't exercise much, I used to, but now I feel like I just don't have the time. I work and go to school from 8am to 9pm Monday through Thursday, and on weekends I spend most of my time studying/ doing homework. I fear I have no life.
  7. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Gavin513
    GO BLACK HAWKS! Sorry I am huge black hawks fan. The whole city is nuts about them, they just keep winning.

    I don't exercise much, I used to, but now I feel like I just don't have the time. I work and go to school from 8am to 9pm Monday through Thursday, and on weekends I spend most of my time studying/ doing homework. I fear I have no life.

    You do, it's just more business and les social right now.
  8. by   ILoveCats, R.N.
    Avoid a relationship! You have a lot of work ahead of you, and you don't need the extra strain that a relationship will demand. It's fine and perfectly normal to have no life during nursing school. Spend time with your friends and family for now, knowing that you're bettering yourself. 30 is not anywhere near too old to start a family, especially for a guy.
  9. by   Farawyn
    I dunno, I've heard tell some relationships ease stress, not cause it.
  10. by   honeyforasalteyfish
    Quote from Farawyn
    I dunno, I've heard tell some relationships ease stress, not cause it.
    From my experience yes it did in the beginning for me. I fear I have little experience with relationships. I have been dumped several times, and I have dumped a few gals in my time. Guilty I suppose, but the only relationship I have ever had that lasted more than 2 months was my engagement.

    I dated her for 4 years before we became engaged for a year. So five years. It was quite amazing to start... then the bad times came... the night... the shadow... etc

    Don't miss her much, but I still think fondly about the good time, but I am sure its not mutual.

    I suppose I miss the ease of cracking open a beer with some one I trusted more than any one else in the world, and just talking about us. We were always together for at least 2 or three years.

    Weird how some one is such a staple in your life, and then you stop speaking entirely.
  11. by   Farawyn
    Why such short relationships?
  12. by   honeyforasalteyfish
    Quote from Farawyn
    Why such short relationships?
    Several reasons my engagement was the first time I ever was serious about dating a woman, and not just well.... lets say being young....

    After I tried to make a few of my relationships work, but I was in a bad place after words and while I didn't want to do this I was trying to replace what I had lost instead of appreciating the person for who they were.

    lol I went through a dozen short flings after I broke up with the ex-fiancé. I went freaking nuts. I was making 50k a year, and had no responsibility save my job, and bills. So I spent a lot of time drinking, and partying. I wanted a relationship, but I don't think I was ready.

    I still don't, but now its no longer for emotional reasons. Rather because of professional and academic goals. Someday I want a family, and I want to be able to send kids to college. Give them a better life, and I can't exactly do that on my own. Still I would like to be in a better situation in my life before I get into anything to serious.
  13. by   Farawyn
    You are young. I know you've already been through a lot, but don't rush it. I was already married for 2 years at your age. Hubs is younger than me.
    I wouldn't trade what we've built and my kids are the best kids ever, but I feel there's a chunk of growing up time, on my own, that I missed out on.
  14. by   margin261
    A relationship while in nursing school is very hard! In the beginning of a relationship you want to be with them all the time & need to nurture it and either it or school will suffer.
    You've worked so hard to get where you are- on many levels. Concentrate on school. Do things outside of school to keep a balance, alleviate stress...
    I wasn't good at that during school- all I did was school & studying. It's like those 2 years went by in a fog of stress! Don't do that to yourself!
    If you have a good friend or group of friends make time to see a movie or have a beer every once in a while, for your sanity!!
    I wouldn't go looking for romance at this point but sometimes thats when it finds you! Just keep your priorities in order

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