Dating a family member's doctor

  1. Hi guys. Just wondering what the opinions of some members are + need some advice. So here goes:

    My grandfather has been with his PCP for almost a year now, getting monthly visits. I sometimes go home to take care of him whenever my aunt can't take time off work. She included me in the personnel contacts whenever med. decisions, changes, etc. are made, so I pretty much interact with his PCP a lot.

    I just saw him (PCP) this Jan. and the new med. assistant told me that he was "really" attracted to me. Now, ever since we first met, I gotta admit on MY end, that I, well. I was instantly attracted, & I think the feeling was mutual. We kept staring at each other LOL. Overtime, we flirted but nothing more.

    The latest visit ended up with us giving each other a hug and him pushing me away because we were "alone in the room" and "there's a bed" (his exact words). I laughed it off. I didn't know what to do. Out in the driveway (he's a "mobile physician"), the med.assnt. told me about his attraction to me. So now it's almost Feb. and about time to interact with him again. I'm begging my aunt to take time off work so I won't have to go home :/ I'm really nervous, I can't stop thinking about it, &... the more I think about it, the more I'm falling for him How do I handle this? Believe me, I never wanted this, but I've been thinking about him ever since I met him & I admit it affected my last relationship. I know this sounds like sum bad soap opera or fanfic, but I'd rather ask around anonymously first before talking to family/friends or worse, HIM. And there are new rules about this from the AMA. This is the main reason why we haven't jumped on each other. Thanks in advance for any advice *Yep, go ahead & laugh. This sounds so ridiculous LOL*
  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   SaoirseRN
    Not ridiculous -- you can't help what you feel or who you fall for. However, you dating your grandfather's doctor could become a major conflict of interest, and I think you ought not to enter into a relationship with him while he is caring for a family member.

    A few of the physicians I work with I am also friends with and see outside of work. They are very good physicians, but when it came to setting my parents up with a new doctor I chose a different physician, who I believe does a wonderful job caring for his patients, but is not one with whom I will ever interact socially. I didn't feel it would be appropriate. That's not exactly the same as the situation you are faced with, but similar.
  4. by   Altra
    Quote from NEXTLOVER
    I know this sounds like sum bad soap opera or fanfic
    Yes, it does.

    It could get even more dramatic: you could pursue a relationship and then he could continue to discuss you with the medical assistant. Sounds appealing, doesn't it?
  5. by   kirsnikity
    Quote from Altra
    Yes, it does.

    It could get even more dramatic: you could pursue a relationship and then he could continue to discuss you with the medical assistant. Sounds appealing, doesn't it?
    This exactly!

    This guy sounds like a creep. Why is he talking with his MA about you? Very unprofessional! Something is strange here.
  6. by   jadelpn
    First off, the medical assistant telling you of the MD's attraction is very unprofessional. That is not why any of you there. The MD then making comment about being alone with a bed is again very, very unprofessional. And creepy. And inappropriate. And where was Grandpa--the patient and the one who the whole "get together" was to be about-- when this interaction was taking place?
    In any event, is this MD married or have a s.o.? Because most adults in any setting would have said at that alone time AFTER a visit is over-"-would love to get some dinner with you sometime. Can I call you" as opposed to sexual innuendos. Unless you are married or have a s.o. Then that brings a whole new level to this. You made a comment about "it" affecting your last relationship. That is troubling. The least of your concerns would be the new AMA "rules". There is something overall odd about this entire scenario--but bottom line--you are but one of the people who helps out with Grandpa. You are not his 24 hour caregiver. Have no idea what any rule is pertaining to this, but a huge rule of ethical behavior would in my mind be the MD doesn't get the moves like Jagger on the grandaughter during a professional visit.
  7. by   madwife2002
    I must admit my first question would be 'is he married'? Otherwise why is he not asking you out on a date?
  8. by   roser13
    Reminds me of high school.
  9. by   DoeRN
    Why didn't he tell you himself that he is attracted to you? Usually men approach women they are attracted too.

    Sent from my iPhone using
  10. by   R!XTER
    I don't really see why its a conflict of interest, unless there is a messy breakup in the future and you still have to take grandpa to see him which can be potentially awkward. Otherwise, if there is mutual attraction and neither of you is married, why not go for it? If anything he will probably take extra good care of grandpa to impress you. Personally I would not want to date a doctor as they have crazy schedules and obligations, must put patients before family etc.
  11. by   imintrouble
    Quote from roser13
    Reminds me of high school.
    I thought I'd somehow blundered onto some high school message board, instead a website for professionals.
  12. by   Stephalump
    Well, I'm not sure where dating comes into picture. From what I've gathered, we know he's interested in your nether regions. I failed to read anything about him taking you out for coffee to get to know you better.

    So the question is...should I have sex with my grandfather's doctor?

    You only live once

    I don't recommend you sleeping with your grandfathers doctor and misconstruing it as dating him, though. That never turns out well.
  13. by   itsmejuli
    After reading that I'm all creeped out.

    I'd be finding grandpa a new doctor.

  14. by   Beautiful Mind RN
    When I read this post, a theme song came to mind...

    "Jeepers, creepers!"