Do you hear me?

  1. 2
    November 16, 2013
    Written by Sabby_NC

    Do you hear me?

    Your vitals are good today.

    I am dying of a disease I never wanted.
    Never getting the chance of growing old and seeing my family make choices in their lives.
    Not going to get the chance of walking my daughter down the aisle.
    Not going to get the chance to hold my first Grandchild.

    Do you hear me?

    How is your pain score today?

    I have so much pain in my heart.
    I am leaving my spouse to manage things on her own, will she be safe?
    How will she manage financially?
    Who will hug her at night while drinking a warm drink by the fire
    Comfort her when she is unwell?

    Do you hear me?

    Your heart sounds good.

    How can it be, my heart is hurting so much it is overwhelming me?
    I love this life I made with my wife, and now it is getting snatched away from me.
    My friends do not call or come around; they do not want tosee me looking so sick and skeletal. They do not know what to say to me? Just call me is all I need, the silence in the room is deafening.
    I cry when no one is looking.

    Do you hear me?

    Have you moved your bowels today?

    My stomach is so upset, I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.Food makes me nauseated and most of the time I vomit.
    I am so weak I pee before I get to the commode; my dignityis in my boots.
    Loss of bodily function is something that you cannot imagine how it makes you feel, I now wear those paper/plastic pants that feel like a child again. I am totally stripped of my dignity.

    Do you hear me?

    What have you been able to do today?

    What can I do when I feel so weak I cannot even brush my own hair?
    I fall asleep during conversations, cannot concentrate for long and lose my train of thought.
    I say things that do not make sense, I see people from my past but in a weird way it is comforting to me.

    Do you hear me?

    How are you coping today?

    I am not; I am dying DO YOU HEAR ME? I no longer have control over the choices in my life.
    Why do you ask so many questions when all I want is for you to sit down and listen to me?
    I had a life, a sense of purpose. Ask me what I used to do while I can still express myself.
    There are things I have achieved in my life that just may be of interest if only you could take the time to sit and listen to me.
    Sometimes I like to know what is going on outside, is it sunny today, tell me what is important on the news. Could you read the front page of the paper to me?
    Sometimes just a kind touch or holding my hand and being quiet are appreciated as well.
    Treat me as a person; this is who I am and not a disease process. Please show me respect, dignity, compassion as for now, I am still alive.

    Do you hear me?
    Last edit by Sabby_NC on Nov 21, '13
    SoldierNurse22 and herring_RN like this.
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