Observations on Growing Older

  1. this list reminds me of the awful sunday afternoon my dad realized he could be any college or pro football player except george blanda!


    observations on growing older


    ~your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them
    ...but
    your grandchildren are perfect!

    ~going out is good.
    coming home is
    better!

    ~when people say you look "great"...
    they add "for your
    age!"

    ~when you needed the discount you paid full price.
    now you get
    discounts on everything ...
    movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to
    use them.

    ~you forget names ... but it's ok
    because other people
    forgot
    they even knew you!!!

    ~the 5 pounds you wanted to lose
    is
    now 15 and you have a better chance
    of losing your keys than the 15
    pounds.

    ~you realize you're never going
    to be really good at anything
    .... especially golf.

    ~your spouse is counting on you
    to remember
    things you don't remember.

    ~the things you used to care to do,
    you no
    longer care to do,
    but you really do care that you
    don't care to do them
    anymore.

    ~your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair
    with the tv
    blaring than he does in bed.
    it's called his "pre-sleep".

    ~remember
    when your mother said
    "wear clean underwear in case you get in an
    accident"?
    now you bring clean underwear in case you have an
    accident!

    ~you used to say,
    "i hope my kids get married ...
    now, "i
    hope they stay married!"

    ~you miss the days when everything
    worked
    with just an "on" and "off" switch..

    ~when google, ipod, email,
    modem ...
    were unheard of, and a mouse was something
    that made you climb
    on a table.

    ~you used to use more 4 letter words ...
    "what?"..."when? "
    ???

    ~now that you can afford
    expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear
    it anywhere.

    ~you read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've
    read it.

    ~notice everything they sell in stores is
    "sleeveless" ?!!!

    ~what used to be freckles are now liver
    spots.

    ~everybody whispers.

    ~you have 3 sizes of clothes in your
    closet ....
    2 of which you will never wear.

    ~~~~but old is good in
    some things:
    old songs
    old movies
    and best of all old
    friends!!
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  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   Davey Do
    Sharpiemom:

    I enjoyed reading your Observations on Growing Older. I went through them associated some specific ones to myself or things I've heard:

    I am becoming my parents- a reinforcement for having had a vasectomy: I won't be able to screw up my kids in the same way in which my parents screwed me up.

    "The best trips are those in which you can be home by lunchtime." Charles Schultz was reputed to say that. However, the quote is probably paraphrased. I don't remember it exactly.

    After not seeing an old aquaintence for quite some time, I said to her, "You haven't changed a bit!" She replied, "You mean I looked this bad 20 years ago?!"

    I finally understand and appreciate what that Guy on the porch meant in "It's a Wonderful Life", "Youth is wasted on the wrong people." That which needs to be appreciated is not appreciated by the Individuals experiencing the process.

    Here's a trick to remembering people's name you've forgotten: Ask, "What's your name again?" When they answer, furrow your brows, look down, shake your head, and say, "I don't remember you." The other person will become defensive and give you all the details of your relationship to this point in time. It's a real conversation stimulator. And besides, it's always interesting to view your life from another's perspective.

    One of the things about a deteriorating memory is that books you've read and movies you've seen are like running into people whose names you can't recall. Once you remember them, you also remember if you liked them or not. If you didn't care for them, you can cease the process, thus saving valuable time.

    Practise abstemious behavior and remember where you put your keys by leaving them in the same place every time. If you lay them somewhere where you usually don't, you'll surely forget where you left them. If you can locate them without much effort, consider yourself capable possessing Psychic abilities.

    It has been said that "Practise provides opportunity for possible improvement." If you don't become really good at something you've practised at, you'll at least be outstandingly mundane.

    A Nurse Friend of mine believes one can only be good at finding things if one pocesses two X chromosomes.

    I can now identify with Leonard Cohen words, "I ache in the places where I use to play."

    It is good to learn a few pat responses when one's hearing deteriorates: "Is that right?" "You don't say?" "I understand", and "Hmmm!".

    Just because one can still fit into their old clothes doesn't mean one looks good in them. However, most of us look better in clothes. Rather than without. Know what I mean?

    What else can underwear be for except to protect our outer garments from us?

    "If you can't fix something with a hammer, you need a bigger hammer."

    Remember when hippie referred to a lifestyle, book meant to leave, groovy referred to not a shape but an expression of affirmation, and a narc was not something you inventoried, yet avoided because they were also known as a puke?

    Who needs tatooes when age decorates our body in various and sundry ways?

    Dave

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