13 Signs You May Be Elderly...

  1. 1 ) You Hate Loud Music
    You can't stand loud music or the people who listen to it. You think loud music is a nuisance to everyone, and you constantly want to scream at people to turn it down or turn it off.

    2 ) You Have an Early Bedtime
    You don't pull all-night bar hopping stints with your friends or stay up late on New Year's Eve to ring in the New Year. Your bedtime occurs shortly after the sun goes down and before the moon fully rises in the sky.

    3 ) You Have a Bedtime Ritual
    Not only do you go to bed early, but you also have a specific ritual you must follow. There is no coming home tired and falling into bed fully dressed. You must have your hot tea, read a chapter in your book, brush your hair, and remove all decorative pillows from the bed before you can even think about a good night's sleep.

    4 ) You Watch Stories on Television
    While all of your friends talk about their favorite online videos or reality TV shows, you secretly know that none of those shows is as good as the stories you watch. Most of your stories went out of production over a decade ago, but you know that means the story is worth watching because modern television is worthless.

    5 ) You Use the Term "Back in the Day"
    You share stories with people and refer to the terms "back in the day" or "the good old days." You may only be in your 20s, but those stories from your good old teenage years are priceless.

    6 ) You Relate to Grumpy People
    You relate to anyone who appears grumpy, cranky, or annoyed with life. You root for the grumpy old guy in the movies and sympathize with the cranky old lady who drives with her blinker on for five miles. You know what it's like to live a long, hard life and you sympathize with those experiencing the same.

    7 ) Everyone Annoys You
    People annoy you no matter how nice they may be to you. The cashier at the store is too slow. Your neighbor is too noisy, too bossy, or too cheery. No matter what someone does, it annoys you.

    8 ) You Love Antiquing
    Antiques are your life. You love finding old treasures from decades or centuries ago to add to your growing collection. You watch antiquing shows and scoff at people who buy furniture and decor from mass-market retailers.

    9 ) You Hate Travel
    Travel means that you have to pack and deal with people. Just the thought of a plane or bus ride makes you tired and cranky. You'd much rather hang out at home and take your weekly trip to the market for something to do.

    10) Your Diet Choices Are Healthy
    You don't engage in junk food binges or weekend benders. Your diet consists of high fiber, little dairy, low carbs, and minimal sugar because you need to eat what keeps you regular. You know all of those people with unhealthy diets suffer from constipation, and your goal is to avoid that at all costs.

    11) You Compare Aches and Pains
    When you meet someone with similar health problems, you love comparing aches and pains stories. You could spend hours talking about your bad knee or your back pain with someone who shares the same ailment.

    12) You Need Hot Tea or Coffee
    You can't get through a day without at least a few cups of hot tea or coffee. You actually have a hot tea or coffee ritual that you follow. In fact, you only drink it from an antique cup and saucer set you scored at a yard sale.

    13) You Expect Courtesy
    You expect that when people look at you, they see someone full of age and wisdom, someone who deserves respect and honor. You expect people to hold open doors, let you go before them in line, and give you the closest parking space at the mall. You get frustrated when they don't see what you see and you have to open your own door or wait at the end of the checkout line.
    Last edit by Joe V on Mar 17, '17
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  2. 16 Comments

  3. by   Rose_Queen
    1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7- that's nearly half of them- and if 12 just referred to caffeine, there's another one. Crap, I knew I was old for my age!
  4. by   sharpeimom
    You simply must fill out your application to join The Crusty Old Bat Society soon! We have our "Members in Training" classification too if you feel you're too young to be a regular member. Welcome to the club!
  5. by   sharpeimom
    I have #14 to contribute to the list:

    14. Making sure you don't accidentally skip any pills you take and remembering to pick the darned things up when the drugstore makes
    its monthly courtesy call that your pills are ready to be picked up. All of them.
  6. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    #'s 5, 6, 12, and 14.

    #15.) You don't bother with make-up any more because it settles into the fine lines and bigger wrinkles, and makes you look clownish instead of making you look a few years younger.
  7. by   Dewman
    Agree with all except #8: Antiquing.
    Heck, I'M an antique. Why would I want any MORE antiques around?
  8. by   amoLucia
    Ouch!!!

    And I just thought it was when I started getting AARP applications at age 50.

    Now where did I leave my Santa Clause coffee mug?
  9. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    When you try to do something you used to do easily, and your body says, "You want me to do WHAT???", laughs at you and then gives you a good hard nerve-pinch, just to make its point.
  10. by   sharpeimom
    You discover that midnight looks a loooong way off by eight or nine on New Year's Eve and partying all night becomes a dim memory.
  11. by   Dewman
    You know you're getting elderly when you bend over to tie your shoe, and you wonder what else you can do while you're down there...
  12. by   MrChicagoRN
    18. When you are actually willing to claim the senior discount at the restaurant (some offer something at 50 or 55)
  13. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    Yep, it occurred to me at the health food store the other day I should ask about a senior discount day (as HFS's are not cheap by any means); the girl smiled sweetly and said it was available EVERY day, and pointed to a sign that said "Ask for your 'Wisdom Discount'.
  14. by   poppycat
    Quote from sharpeimom
    You simply must fill out your application to join The Crusty Old Bat Society soon! We have our "Members in Training" classification too if you feel you're too young to be a regular member. Welcome to the club!
    Where can I find this application? I'm pretty crusty! (Or is my skin just really dry from all the hand washing?!)

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